The Real Me
by GirlieGirl101
Summary: Bella Swan was loved by everyone. She had a dry sense of humor and was everyone's friend. That girl was a lie. The real Bella was utterly broken, a girl living a different life by night, one with drugs and vices. She was unsaveable. Until he came.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is my new story, The Real Me. Just a warning, it's going to be dark and angsty. The romance won't be the focus, definitely not. The focus of the whole story will be Isabella's story, past and present. Just bear with me, because she will get her happily ever after, okay? 3 x**

**Title: The Real Me**

**By: GirlieGirl101**

**Summary: She was 15. Her 'parents' thought she was an innocent little girl, Daddy's little angel. Her friends thought she was the happy, funny one who they could always go to for a laugh.**

**That girl was a lie.**

**The real girl was broken. The real girl was a self-harmer. The real girl was into drugs, alcohol and the party scene.**

**The real girl was in pain.**

~PROLOGUE~

I dragged the razor across my skin. I felt the warm, stinging rush of heat that the sharp blades left. I watched the blood rush to the surface.

There wasn't much.

I hadn't cut deep enough.

I cut again. And again.

I cut until the tears stopped. And then I waited for the bleeding to end. I sat there, on my bed in the darkness, for half an hour. Then I got changed into my usual clothes, grabbed my iPod and phone and snuck out my window.

I got to Mark's house at 12:45 am, and the party was in full swing.

I let myself go. I let Mark put his hands on me. I let him shove his tongue down my throat. I let him get me drinks that tasted off, like the drugs he had no doubt slipped into them.

And just like any other night, I drank, partied and smoked until the early morning. Then I went home, showered, used the illegal eye drops and tablets to make myself look sober and I went to school.

**I'd appreciate a review, if you can spare the time… Please.**

**Tah, lovelies. x**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just to clear something up, Bella is 17, not 15 like it said in the previous chapter. Sorry. :S Also, this isn't going to be in first person, that was just the prologue, k? haha 3  
**

**Second chapter, here we go..**

When Bella got to school, she smiled and waved at everybody she knew, but only looking for one person; her best friend, Rose. Rose was the only one who knew everything that went on in her life, and vice versa.

When she finally saw the blonde curls of her best friend, she pushed through the students and went straight to her, hugging her to say hello.

"Bella! Hey! How are you?" Rose looked into her eyes, noting how they were slightly bloodshot and glassy.

"Hey Rosie, I'm fine.. and you?" Bella, in return, searched her friends face for any sign of sadness.

She found what she was looking for, but knew they couldn't talk yet, not out here in the open.

Rose shrugged.

"I'm okay. Talk at lunch?" She asked as the bell rang, signaling the start of school.

"Definitely." Bella replied, and she turned and got her books from her locker, heading off to her first class of the day. Before she entered the classroom and sat with her friends, she plastered her usual fake smile on her face and pretended she was the silly, happy girl they all thought she was.

~TRM~

Her first three periods couldn't finish fast enough, so when the bell rang to signal lunch, she sighed in relief and went to find Rose.

They went and sat in their spot outside the lunchroom, an isolated table where nobody would overhear what they were discussing.

"Bella. You went to Matt's again, didn't you?" Rose inquired. She rolled her eyes at Bella's shrug, but deep down she was concerned. Her best friend was going down a bad path.

"Pfff. Forget about me, Rosie, what about you? What happened?" Bella replied anxiously.

"Oh, nothing. Mum called me a slut again, and then Dad came in and called me the whore of Babylon. Just the usual." Rose feigned nonchalance, but Bella could see the hurt in her eyes.

Rose had very religious parents, and they were finding it hard to cope with having a rebellious daughter.

Bella knew Rose wasn't a slut. She hadn't even kissed a boy until this year. She was just troubled, tangled in a love triangle with a cheating ex-boyfriend, the new hot, cocky boy at school and the player in the grade below theirs.

You see, Rose was the most beautiful and wanted girl at their school. She had the looks, popularity, and personality.

Bella was jealous of her from kindergarten all the way to the year before. She had liked Rose well enough, and had considered her a friendly acquaintance, but they never really talked much.

Rose was beautiful, petite, popular, funny, smart and she had an amazing family.

She seemed to have the perfect life.

But she didn't. And these two girls would need each other through the next year, more than anybody else.

Bella remembered the first time they had talked, _really _talked, and become what they were now.

Sisters. Not by blood, but by everything else – the strength in each other, the fierce sisterly love between them, and the knowledge about each other they had.

_**~FLASHBACK~**_

Bella stared at the phone in her hand. The girl on the other end kept talking; apologizing, reasoning, crying, without realizing Bella wasn't listening.

She dropped the phone, ran to the bathroom and proceeded to hurl everything in her stomach up, tears stinging her eyes and trickling down her face.

Her boyfriend was cheating on her.

Her amazing, hot, funny, loving boyfriend of 2 years was cheating on her.

And she had to find out through his fucking 11-year-old sister.

She kept hurling, everything in her stomach emptying, and then continued to dry heave as she wept. The pain in her chest was growing worse and worse.

How could he do this to her?

He was her best friend, her rock, her strength, her everything! He had been the one to comfort her when she cried, the one who held her hair back when she was sick, and the one that always made her feel better. She was sneaking around behind her parent's backs for him!

He was the only boyfriend she'd ever had. She loved him, with everything she had in her 16 year old heart.

She forced herself to stop crying and hurling, after a good ten minutes. She went to the sink to clean her face up.

That was when Rose walked in.

"Oh my gosh, Bella are you okay? Honey, what's wrong? Are you sick?" Rose rushed over and started fussing over her tear streaked and deathly pale face.

"How could he? How _could_ he? I thought he loved me!" Bella broke down again. Rose took one look at her, and then proceeded to wordlessly take a paper towel and clean Bella's face of makeup, and took her by the arm out of the bathroom, out the door to the school and to a table outside, in a secluded little place near the oval.

"Spill."

So Bella spilt. She told Rose how Jacob was her best friend for most of her life, and how she dated him for two years without her parents knowing. She told Rose how he was her first kiss, her first boyfriend, her first love. She told Rose about the amazing things he did, and how much he actually loved her.

_Loved. _Past tense.

She told Rose about the phone call she'd just received from Jake's concerned little sister, asking why they'd broken up. Bella had been so confused. Then of course, Becca told her about how she'd just seen him with their neighbor. Kissing her. Holding her. Laughing with her.

Rose sat and listened, her heart wrenching for this broken girl.

Then, as Bella finished her story, a silence fell over them as they listened to the school bell ringing in the distance.

They'd missed the two periods in between their lunch breaks already, and that bell told them they'd just missed the second lunch break too.

Rose broke the silence.

"My life isn't perfect Bella. Nowhere _near_ perfect. "

That was all she had said. But it was enough.

Rose told her story the next day. And Bella realized what a friend she could have in this beautiful, equally broken girl.

_**~END FLASHBACK~**_

Rose and Bella walked to the diner, where they both had the afternoon shift of work together, talking about everything from Bella's new slashes on her wrist to the fact that Rose was going away soon.

They talked to each other about things that normal teenage girls wouldn't even dream of, but they experienced constantly.

They needed each other, and they were the closest two girls could be. Little did they know, soon they would be torn from each other and never be able to see or speak to each other again.

They were nowhere near ready for what was coming.

**I know I only have one review, but I have this need to write this story. It's eating away at my mind. :P**

**I hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review? Tah x**


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